Girls are attracted to boys

transgeniale f_antifa (tgf_a)

... or anything you want. A brochure about gender & trans (not only) for young people

36 pages

Download the brochure as a pdf


Introductory words
Who is this brochure for?
What does the underscore mean?
What does trans mean?
What does cis mean?
You determine your gender - not your genitals!
What does inter mean?
You are what you feel
What are non-binary identities?
Gender identity and sexuality
Patriarchy and sexism
What is hetero-normativity?
Trans is not a disease!
What are gender reassignment measures?
The norm is wrong - not your body!
What is the supplementary pass?
Official change of name and status
How can you talk to your parents / friends?
How can you support trans people?
Where can I get professional support?
Explanations of terms
For further reading

Introductory words

The desire to make this brochure arose when we heard of a trans person who did not dare to speak to their parents about the subject of trans. We came up with the idea of ​​giving the person a brochure that explains the topic in a way that is understandable for young people and does not (only) take up clichéd images of trans people. Unfortunately, we had to find out that such a brochure has not yet existed. So there was only one possibility for us: do it yourself! This is how the brochure you are reading came about. We try to answer a wide variety of questions about the topic of trans. We have tried to write as easily understandable as possible. We also separated long words, or terms that many people probably don't know, with a hyphen (for example, "gender-queer"). At the end of the brochure, we explain terms that we think many people may not be familiar with.

Who is this brochure for?

You can read this brochure if you know you don't want to live as a boy or a girl. Or if you are not sure whether you want to be a girl or a boy. You can also read this booklet if you are bullied at school, perhaps because you don’t dress the way others expect you to. Or if you feel that you want a different name for yourself but don't dare to tell your parents. You can also read this brochure if you suspect that people you know (e.g. child, friend, parents) do not want to live in the gender in which they are supposed to live. Or if you are simply interested in what trans actually means and why this asterisk is behind it. This brochure is intended for all people who want to think about the topic of trans and everything related to it.

What does the underscore mean?

In this brochure you will often find words with an underscore (_). We would like to briefly explain what that means using an example. When we write "pupils" we mean all people who go to school. There are schoolchildren (i.e. boys) and schoolgirls (i.e. girls). But there are also people who are neither boys nor girls and who go to school. So that these people are also thought of, we create space for them with the underscore (_). Sometimes we also write "she_er". By this we mean that a person can be a boy or a girl or both or neither.

And now …
... we wish you and you a lot of fun reading. You are welcome to send questions, criticism and comments to our e-mail address:
[email protected]

What does trans mean?

Some people realize at some point that they do not want to live in the gender in which they are supposed to live. For example, when a child who has always lived as a girl would rather be a boy. Or when a boy puts on clothes and would much rather be a girl. People who are supposed to live as women but feel like men often name themselves Trans men. Trans women call themselves people who should live as a man and feel like a woman. With the word trans an attempt is made to summarize the different ways of life of people who do not want to be the sex they are supposed to be.

What does cis mean?

Cis (pronounced: ziss) is the opposite of trans. So it means that a person wants to be the gender they are supposed to be. If a person is supposed to live as a man and wants to, he is a Cis man. And if a person is supposed to and wants to live as a woman, then she is one Cis woman. We use these words so that people who are the gender they are supposed to be are not seen as normal and trans women and trans men are not emphasized as special. Because most people are c sharp, but that doesn't mean it's normal to be c sharp.

You determine your gender - not your genitals!

Many people understand gender as something that can be determined through the genitals. Babies with a penis are classified as boys and babies with a vulva as girls. This is problematic for several reasons. It is assumed that all penises and all vulvae look the same and each form a fixed category. It is also problematic that the gender is determined by doctors at the latest at the time of birth. As a result, people are denied self-determination about their gender identity. Your gender is determined only by you and not your genitals, no matter what they look like.

What does inter mean?

There are people in whom the gender characteristics (for example genitals) are not clearly 'male' or 'female'. These people will inter-sex or inter called. Unfortunately, most of the time their genitals are changed by surgery so that they can be classified as boys or girls. People who have experienced these operations often describe them as violence. Some inter-people suffer from the effects of the operations all their lives. We believe that intersex people should have the right to choose their own gender, just like everyone else. They should also be able to decide for themselves whether and how they can change their bodies through operations.

You are what you feel

No person can determine who or what you are, neither doctors, parents nor other people. Only you can do that yourself. You alone decide which gender identity suits you best. You also choose your name and pronoun yourself. Nobody is allowed to talk into you, neither your parents nor your friends or any other person. Other people need yours Self-definition recognize. Because you know best what is good for you and what feels right. There are no wrong feelings. For example, if everyone thinks you are a girl even though you feel like a boy, then you are a boy too. Or if you don't feel like a man or a woman, then you are neither a man nor a woman. You are what you feel

What are non-binary identities?

Some people do not feel they belong to the two given options, ie ›woman‹ or ›man‹. For example, you can feel like something in between or both. There are also people who do not feel they belong to any gender. So you are not a girl, a woman, nor a boy, not a man. One word for it is a-gender (pronounced: äjdjänder). This is English and means something like "without gender". It can be very difficult to identify as non-binary Finding your way, because in our society it is never or only rarely talked about. Even in the media or in the private sphere (friends, school, ...), non-binary ways of life rarely or not at all. Nevertheless, it is possible to define yourself as something other than a man or a woman. The self-definition also applies here: You are what you feel. Other words that define themselves as non-binary people are, for example: gender queer (pronounced: djänder-quier), neutrois (pronounced: njutrjo), gender-fluid (pronounced: djänder-fluit). There are also non-binary pronouns, for example: she_er, he_sie, sier, xier, es, she_r, si_er. You can also come up with your own pronoun.

Gender identity and sexuality

Who you like, who you fall in love with and who you desire has nothing to do with yours Gender identity to do. Regardless of whether you define yourself as a woman, man or non-binary, you can fall in love with women, men and non-binary people and desire them. Only you determine and define that. For example, if you feel like a girl even though you are supposed to live as a boy, that doesn't mean that you are automatically into men. There are many lesbian trans women and also gay trans men. It is a hetero-normative notion that people automatically desire the opposite sex. It is important to question that.


Some people are not sexually attracted to other people. So you have no desire for sexual contact. That's why they call themselves A-Sexuals. But that doesn't mean that a-sexual people can't fall in love. A-sexual can be lesbian, gay, bi, pan or straight. You can have relationships and feel intimacy. Being A-sexual is not necessarily easy in this society because almost everyone assumes that everyone lives sexuality. It is also often considered 'natural' to be sexual. This is why A-Sexuals are often assumed to have had bad experiences with sexuality (for example sexualised violence). Anyone who makes such allegations obviously does not want to admit that there are people who are not sexual and for whom that is perfectly fine. A-sexuality is a sexual orientation like any other and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Patriarchy and sexism

Women and men are legally equal in our society. In reality, men and women are not equal. Because men often have more advantages than women. For example, they often work in high positions (as school head, company boss, ...). Women, on the other hand, often get less money than men for the same work. More often, they work in temporary, low-paying jobs. That is why women are more often affected by poverty. A society in which men have more advantages than women is called Patriarchy.

Patriarchy also means that masculinity is often associated with intelligence, objectivity, and reason. Femininity, on the other hand, is often related to feelings, subjectivity and irrationality. Often it is therefore automatically more important what men say. Your opinion is often more likely to be believed. In contrast, women often have a harder time expressing their opinions in public and being heard. Your opinion is often automatically less important. Few people are aware of this.

Unfortunately, cis-male violence is also part of patriarchy. This means that psychological and physical violence is exercised by cis men against women, lesbians, gays, inter and trans people. So cis-male violence affects all people who are not straight and cis-male. This is called sexism designated.

Sexism can be very different. Sexism is when women are told not to have hair on their legs. Sexism is when trans people are berated, beaten, and laughed at for not being cis. Sexism is when people hold the opinion that there should be no same-sex love. Sexism is when a woman stands at the subway station and is simply turned on by men because she is a woman. Sexism is when people take courage to change their name and pronoun because everyone seems to mind. In patriarchy, sexism is found in all areas of society, for example in advertising, films, music and school books.

It is important to be courageous and show solidarity when you experience sexist discrimination in other people. To intervene in such a situation means not to leave a person alone and to fight back together.

There is also the abbreviation for women, lesbians, inter and trans people FLIT. This expresses the fact that there is a group that experiences sexism and is affected by cis-male violence.

What is hetero-normativity?

Many people assume that women always want men and men always want women. This assumption is called Hetero-normativity. This rules out all other forms of how people can desire one another (for example, lesbian, gay, bi). This can have very dire consequences if non-heterosexual desire is viewed as 'wrong'. This is why non-straight people often experience discrimination and violence.

Trans is not a disease!

If you find out more about the topic of trans (for example on the Internet) you will sooner or later come across terms like these: »transsexualism«, »gender identity disorder«, »trans sexuality«, »gender dysphoria«. All of these words come from the field of psychiatry and define being trans as "illness" and "mental disorder". When people's behavior is viewed as 'abnormal' and labeled 'sick', so will it Pathologization called. We firmly reject all pathologizations. Trans is not a disease that needs to be 'cured'. Some people say that if trans is no longer considered a disease, health insurers would no longer pay for hormone treatments and operations. We say: Opportunities must be created to enable trans people to have their desired body without calling them ›sick‹.

What are gender reassignment measures?

Many trans people have a desire to change their bodies. In general, there are all possibilities for changing the body gender reassignment measures called.

One way to change the body is that Hormone treatment. If trans men testosterone-Getting hormones, for example, can make your voice deeper and you can get a beard and more hair all over your body. In addition, many trans men have their breasts removed. Trans women may stop taking estrogen-Hormones, for example, cause their breasts to grow and their body hair to become lighter and thinner. Because the beard does not stop growing through hormone treatment, there is the option of permanently removing the beard through special treatment.

In the gender reassignment surgery it's about people getting the genitals they want. In a trans woman, the penis is surgically removed and a vagina is formed. In the case of a trans man, a penis is formed from his own skin (for example his arm).

If a trans person feels uncomfortable in their body, gender reassignment measures can be important so that they no longer have to live in what appears to be the wrong body. But that doesn't mean that all trans people don't like their body and therefore want to change it. Nor does it mean that if you decide to change, you have to go through all sorts of changes. For example, there are trans men who have their breasts removed, but who do not perform penis construction surgery.

Even non-binary people can have the desire to change their body, e.g. by removing a breast or a beard. Whether you want to change your body permanently is a decision that you should consider carefully. Find out about the risks of the measures, preferably from a counseling center (page 20). Give yourself enough time to find out what you really want.

Health insurance companies are actually obliged to cover the costs of gender reassignment measures. However, it is often a tedious struggle to get the health insurances to cover the costs. In Germany there is one for hormone treatment accompanying psychotherapy required. So if you want to take hormones, you have to do therapy in parallel. While this can be a nuisance, it may also help you cope better with the situation. That certainly depends to a large extent on the therapist. But we have also heard of nice therapists who can certify accompanying therapy, even if you don't feel like it. But not all therapists do that and you have to be lucky enough to find a nice therapist.

For sex reassignment surgery it is necessary to Assessment to be obtained from two different reviewers. You have to certify that you want to live permanently in the 'opposite' sex. Almost all reviewers think in binary terms. That is, they assume that there are only men and women. Unfortunately, their views on what a trans person's path should look like are mostly very limited. Often, reviewers have the 'classic' image of a trans person in their head who notices even as a small child that they are living in the 'wrong' body and behaves accordingly. Unfortunately, they are mostly not aware of or irrelevant that this ›classic‹ image does not apply to many trans people. If you want to have a gender reassignment operation performed and do not correspond to the cliché of the reviewers, you have to be prepared to have to tell ›fairy tales‹.

The norm is wrong - not your body!

Just because there are a lot of trans people who want to change their bodies doesn't mean that you have to change your body if you are trans. There are also many trans people who love their bodies for the way it is. If you don't want to change your body, that's perfectly fine. Because being trans has to do with identity and not necessarily with the body. Don't be fooled into thinking your body is wrong. If most people still don't understand that some women have a penis and some men have breasts, this is their problem! No matter whether with or without a penis, whether with or without breasts, whether with or without a beard, whether thick or thin, whether large or small - your body is great!

What is the supplementary pass?

In Germany there is the possibility of a so-called Supplementary ID to get. It is so called because it is intended as a supplement to the ID card or travel pass. The ID card should make it easier for you to be addressed by your chosen name (for example at authorities, at school, at university or at work). You can also use the ID to prevent you, for example, as a trans woman from being searched by a cis man, for example during controls at the airport. The following is included on the ID: a picture of you; the names on your identity card; Your chosen names; Birthday; Place of birth; Nationality; ID card number; Address. There is also a short text (in German, English and French) on the ID card. In it all people are asked to recognize you in your perceived gender. We find the idea of ​​the supplementary ID very useful. Unfortunately, in our opinion, the ID card is also problematic because it is only intended for trans men and trans women who correspond to the cliché. Unfortunately, non-binary identities are completely ignored. So there are only the options “man” and “woman” for the ID. In addition, the text on the ID assumes that physical changes (e.g. through hormones or operations) are being sought. But that doesn't apply to all trans people. You can get the supplementary ID at the German Society for Transidentity and Intersexuality e.V. to order. Further information is available at under the item »Supplementary ID«.

Official change of name and status

The supplementary ID can help to be addressed with your self-chosen name and to be recognized in your gender. Changing the name on the ID card is unfortunately more difficult to enforce. For this you need two reports. This must certify that you want to live permanently in the 'opposite' sex. It is the same procedure as for sex reassignment surgery. Unfortunately, non-binary identities are (still) not recognized. You can apply to the local court to officially change your name. The official name change is independent of the Person booth. If there is a change in the status of the person, the gender entry in the birth certificate will be changed. Here, too, there are only the options ›male‹ and ›female‹. If you want to officially change your name and personal status and also want to have a gender reassignment operation performed, it makes sense to change your name and personal status first. Because then you no longer need a new expert opinion for the gender reassignment operation.

How can you talk to your parents / friends?

If you don't dare to talk to people about the fact that you are (maybe) trans, you can give them this brochure first. This will give you a rough overview of the topic and may lose the fear of talking about it. You may also be scared. You may fear that your parents will no longer be able to love you if you tell them that you do not want to live in the gender that you should be living in up to now. Please remember that your parents (or other people) love you as a person and not as a boy or girl. You can also try to explain to them that you cannot be who you want to be if you live in the wrong gender. If you don't dare to address the topic on your own, you can support fetch, for example from friends or from a counseling center.

How can you support trans people?

If a person tells you that they are trans, or suspects they may be trans, there are a few things to keep in mind. This big and courageous step takes a lot of trust. So take it as a compliment when a person confides in you.

We have collected a few things that we find important:
• Take the person, their thoughts and feelings seriously.
• Listen carefully to her.
• Do not push her to do anything.
• Respect the person's self-definition.
• Address the person by their chosen name.
• Use the pronoun chosen by the person.
• Don't assume that being trans is just a 'phase'.
• Try to support the person as best you can.

If a child you feel responsible for tells you that they are trans, please keep the following in mind: Try to make it clear to yourself that by choosing a name they are not rebelling against the name you may have given them. A new name can be an important step in the process of finding your way around in your perceived gender. Also, try to understand that you are not losing a daughter or a son. On the contrary: you win the person who the child really is and you gain their trust if you support them on their way.

Where can I get professional support?

There are several in Berlin Advice centerswho offer advice on trans. You can get advice there if, for example, you don't know how to talk to your parents about the topic or if you have questions about hormones, therapy and operations. Relatives and friends of trans people can also go to counseling. Most counseling centers offer counseling both in person and by email and telephone. Often the counselors are trans or international themselves. So in most cases they know what they are talking about. Nevertheless, you should not uncritically believe everything that is told to you during a consultation. It may be that the counselors have a cliché image of trans people in their heads and, for example, deny that there are non-binary identities. We would like to briefly introduce some addresses from Berlin on the next few pages.

»ABqueer e.V. is a Berlin sponsoring association for education and advice on lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans lifestyles. [...] Our projects cover the fields of education and counseling. The educational project goes to school classes and youth clubs and is aimed directly at the young people. The educational initiative Queerformat [...] is aimed at pedagogical specialists in child and youth welfare. With teach out we offer teachers concrete content support for their educational work. Inbetween and the Trans * Inter-Beratung are advisory services on trans * topics. "

Sanderstrasse 15, 12047 Berlin
Telephone: 030 - 922 508 44
Email: [email protected]

»LesMigraS [Lesben, bisexuals, Migrant_innen, lesbians and trans people] is the anti-discrimination and anti-violence area of ​​Lesbenberatung Berlin e.V. «

Kulmer Str.20a, 10783 Berlin
Telephone: 030 - 219 150 90
Email: [email protected]

»Lambda² offers you advice and support (up to 27 years of age). With us you can talk about love, lesbian, gay, bi and trans *, coming out, handicap, your boyfriend or girlfriend, about parents, school, going out, feelings, worries and problems in a simple and uncomplicated way. We listen to you and are at your side. "

Manteuffelstrasse 19, 10997 Berlin
Telephone: 030 - 282 79 90
Email: [email protected]

TransInterQueer »Guarantees [...] professional advice in the areas of transgender, intersex and queer. TrIQ offers educational and awareness-raising work on transgender and intersexuality as well as queer lifestyles «

Glogauerstraße 19, 10999 Berlin
Telephone: 030 - 616 752 916
Email: [email protected]

Explanations of terms

Here we explain terms that we think many people may not be familiar with.

A-gender (pronounced: äj-djänder)
English. A: negative prefix. Gender: gender. People who (want to) have no gender. Another word: neutrois.

People who are not sexually attracted to other people.

People who fall in love with men and women and / or want to have relationships and / or sex with them.

Cis (pronounced: ziss)
People who want to live in the gender in which they are supposed to live ('man' or 'woman').

Cis woman
Person who should and wants to live as a woman.

Cis man
Person who should and wants to live as a man.

Cis sexism
Discrimination against trans people. Another word: trans hostility.

Third gender
People whose gender is neither man nor woman or both.

Abbreviation for Frauen_Lesben_Inter_Trans.

Gender fluid (pronounced: djänder-fluit)
English. Gender: gender. Fluid: flowing. People who do not want to commit themselves to one gender permanently.

Gender queer (pronounced: djänder-quier)
English. Gender: gender; Queer: see below. Collective term for trans people, a-gender, third gender and gender-fluid.

Gender binary
The assumption that there are only two genders ('woman' or 'man').

Gender reassignment measures
Collective term for medical interventions that adapt a person's body to their gender (e.g. hormone treatment, beard removal, gender reassignment surgery).

Gender reassignment surgery
Collective term for surgical interventions that adapt a person's body to their gender (for example, shaping a vagina, uterine removal, breast removal, penis construction).

Men who fall in love with women and / or want to have relationships and / or sex with them. Women who fall in love with men and / or want to have relationships and / or sex with them.

Assumption that women always want men and men always want women.

Straight sexism
Discrimination against people who are bi, lesbian, pan or gay.

Hormone treatment
Treatment with hormones (estrogen and testosterone) that adapt a person's body to their gender.

Collective term for people whose gender characteristics (for example genitals) are not clearly "male" or "female".

Women who fall in love with women and / or want to have relationships and / or sex with them.

Neutrois (pronounced: njutrjo)
People who (want to) have no gender. Another word: a-gender.

People whose gender is neither male nor female.

People who fall in love with people and / or want to have relationships and / or sex with them, regardless of their gender or whether they are gender at all.

When people's behavior is viewed as 'abnormal' and referred to as 'sick'.

queer (pronounced: quier)
English. Collective term for all people who live asexual, bi, inter, lesbian, pan, gay or trans.

Men who fall in love with men and / or want to have relationships and / or sex with them.

People who are sexually attracted to other people.

Trans woman
Person who is supposed to live as a man but wants to live as a woman.

Trans man
Person who is supposed to live as a woman but wants to live as a man.

Collective term for a-gender, third gender, gender-fluid, gender-queer, neutrois, trans women and trans men.

For further reading

Brav_a (teen magazine-style zine)

Gender-Queer Identities (Blog in English)

International Association of Intersex People

Campaign for a third gender entry

Stop Trans Pathologization Campaign

Nonbinary (blog in English)

Who says "a" doesn't have to say "b" - blog about A-sexuality and more