Do gay doctors have a good sex life

Sex as a gay man: how does the first time work?

Question: I have a problem that bothers me a lot. I am gay and have had a boyfriend for two weeks that I would like to sleep with. What precautions should I take to have a nice "first time" with him? I don’t want to be disappointed.

answer: Having sex for the first time is usually associated with worried or even fearful thoughts, and this applies to both homosexuals and heterosexuals. Because sex is associated with a lot of desires and expectations: everyone has dreams and longings, everyone wants to be "good". Everyone has demands on themselves and wants to do everything right as possible. Of course, it shouldn't hurt either.

+++ More on the topic: The first time +++

Fear of sexually transmitted diseases

Homosexuals as well as heterosexuals are at risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Therefore, appropriate precautions regarding safe sex must also be taken here.

Important requirements for a stress-free first time:

  • Protection against HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases must be ensured. Condoms are an absolute must for safe sex!
  • When it comes to sex, the motto always applies: What both likes is good. Perhaps you can discuss one or two preferences in advance.
  • Condoms should also be used for oral contact. Condoms with different flavors are particularly suitable here (e.g. strawberry, etc.).
  • For anal intercourse, you should get lubricant cream in the drugstore, pharmacy or sex shop. Prefer skin-friendly products based on silicone or water. Beware of oil-based lubricants: the oil can make the latex porous.
  • After these general preparations, the most pleasant, relaxed and open atmosphere should be created. The prerequisite for this is to respond to each other, to give yourself time and only do what both of them like.

Consensus and talking to one another are a basic requirement

If you deal with this situation in a relaxed manner, nothing stands in the way of a nice "first time". It goes without saying that both partners have to give their consent. Nobody should be pushed to do something they don't want.

Tips for the passive

  • When a penis enters the anus for the first time, it can of course be very unusual and perhaps uncomfortable.
  • Feeling with your finger and carefully widening the anus with plenty of lubricant is a helpful preparation.
  • Ask the active partner to proceed very carefully and slowly.
  • You can lie on your stomach, on your side or on your back with your knees bent, as you wish.

Tips for the active

  • Do not rush into anything and slowly and carefully prepare the partner for the penetration; always use a condom.
  • Don't push too fast or too hectic, it can be very painful, especially if it's the first time.
  • If the partner asks to stop, do so immediately.

to accept help

The following counseling centers are to be named as contact persons, who are helpful:

  • Pink purple tip, Association for advice, information, support, promotion of communication and cultural work of homosexual women and men. Linke Wienzeile 102, 1060 Vienna, Gay Advice, Tel .: 01/585 43 43.
  • Homosexual Initiative (HOSI) Vienna, 1st Lesbian and Gay Association in Austria
    Heumühlgasse 14/1, 1040 Vienna Tel .: 01/216 66 04
  • AIDS Help Vienna, Mariahilfer Gürtel 4, 1060 Vienna, Tel .: 01/59937

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Authors:
Dr. Britta Bürger, specialist in gynecology and obstetrics

Updated on:

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