How faithful are you

How true are you to yourself

As women, we often tend to want to please everyone. After all, that's how we were brought up. Dear, good, caring, calm and there for everyone else. We take care of our loved ones, the children, pets, friends. About the aging parents, the household, the cooking, the job, your own business. Are always there for everyone ... just not for ourselves.

You could also say that we are unfaithful to ourselves.

By constantly cheating on our own needs with other obligations. We take care of the concerns of our environment instead of thinking about ourselves. Often we do things automatically, say yes to something without first finding out what we want ourselves. Without listening to our own needs, wishes and dreams and listening to what our inner voice wants to tell us.

D.hen out there in the world it is very loud.

It is teeming with external voices telling us how we should do what, how quickly, for what, why and why and ideally right now and in exactly this way.

And then we become unfaithful to ourselves again. By listening more to the many external voices out there instead of going inside and listening to our own voice. To perceive your own voice again, to listen to it and to take it seriously.

Because following your own values ​​and desires, following your inner voice and thereby staying true to yourself and truly living YOUR life also means saying no to external voices.

Saying no to things that are out of tune with you.

Especially to say no to something, or to someone, when your inner voice is already screaming out loud.

Of course, it is also important to show consideration for others, to adhere to laws and regulations, which should be a matter of course anyway. But we all deserve to enjoy our life to the fullest and to live the way we want. Or? Not to let others dictate or influence us all the time how we “have to be”.

But that is exactly what often happens on an unconscious level, through certain social norms, upbringing and "rules of conduct", but also through external influences such as advertising, social media, etc.

These are all voices that dampen our own inner voice.

It is therefore all the more important to learn to hear your own voice (again) and not allow yourself to be influenced too much by others and society. To make your own decisions, to be independent and to be true to yourself. Now, this does not mean being self-centered and reckless or deliberately hurting other people.

It simply means to say no from time to time and thereby determine your own life and go your own way. But it is precisely this saying no that is difficult for many. How often do you find it difficult to say “No” to something or someone? And I'm not talking about a no or yes to a piece of chocolate, the answer is usually quite simply: "Yes!", Right? At least for me….

I am speaking of a no to something that in principle we do not want to do, because for whatever reason, our inner voice gives us signals of rejection. But instead of the intended no, an almost automatic yes always comes out of us.

After all, we don't want to scare anyone off if they are seen as lazy or slackers. How often do you agree to a project, a request, a call for help even though you don't have time, are stressed yourself or just don't feel like it?

The more you say yes to such things, the more you undermine your own self and become unfaithful to yourself. Your gut feeling, your inner voice says NO. But your head, your mind, that clever but sometimes oh so exhausting thinker up there, just says YES. However, the more you consciously listen to and perceive your inner voice and intuition, the easier it will be for you to say no.

Because only you can decide what, how and when you want to do something!

This turns a “No!” Into a “YES!” To yourself! Just give it a try, trust yourself, relax and take a deep breath before you consciously and respectfully say “no” to someone or something.

Celebrate every no and reward yourself with some time off and relaxation for yourself. After all, with this no you have now gained a YES for yourself and with it some time, right?

If you like, and an inner voice says YES, then I also have a little exercise on learning to say NO for you by letting the following questions work. You may also answer them in writing in your journal or on a piece of paper:

  1. Observe yourself how often and why you say “Yes!” When you would rather say “No!”!
  2. When and why do you say YES to things that you don't really want to do?
  3. In situations like this, which ones could you start saying NO to?

Oh, and I still have a little exercise to practice saying no in a playful way. Whenever you feel like it, stand in front of a mirror and practice saying no. You can live out your acting skills. Try to say no, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, disappointed, loving or even strict.

You can also just walk past the mirror at the beginning and say: "No, I don't want to practice saying no now."

I wish you many wonderful no's and yes's to yourself,

your Karin