Should I end this difficult relationship

When should you end a relationship?

The other day I was driving my car through a small, tranquil town. Then I came across a poster with the inscription: “Online divorce. Why not? Divorce for YOU. "

I was somewhat amazed at the offers that are available today. Dating agency - okay. Speed ​​dating - okay too. But online divorce ...?

I've been giving relationship tips for years now. And then that! But maybe it's an issue after all? How and when should you end a relationship? In the thousands of feedback I've received over time, this question comes up again and again.

I noticed how difficult it is for women - and not infrequently for men too. Separation is what many experience as a terrible defeat that is associated with great pain.

However, I noticed something else. Relationships that are full of problems and are anything but liberating cause at least as much pain as a breakup. But there is one difference: A difficult relationship can make life difficult for a very long time, it can make you sick, and it can even reduce the joy of life to a minimum or let it extinguish completely. On the other hand, a line to end, a new beginning can be the beginning of a new life.


So, when should you end a relationship?

First of all, it must be clarified WHY you should end a relationship. In conversations and interviews with people of all ages, one thing became clear to me. Every relationship not only has its sunny side, but also its dark side. Anyone who assumes that a relationship only has to be a trip to cloud nine will (or: they) have a hard time with a long-term relationship and may consider separating after the first or second disagreement.

I like to talk about a relationship balance. That means: If you think about what your relationship is about and what the relationship between happy and less happy hours is, then you will very quickly come to either a positive or a negative balance. If, for example, your partner brings traits into the relationship that are of great importance to you, that you love and that make you happy, then these outweigh the one or the other little quirk that everyone somehow has. And very positive characteristics, let's be honest, outweigh small flaws. Or?

However, if you notice that there are hardly any enlivening, pleasant hours in the relationship, that quarrels and disharmonies arise quickly and regularly on various occasions, and that you feel more uncomfortable than comfortable in the presence of your partner, then the balance will be negative. And then at the latest you should sit up and watch the relationship between the positive and the negative.

If in the long run it is not possible to speak constructively with your partner about the critical behavior patterns that make you unhappy and you find that his strong points do not really outweigh the weak points from your point of view, then the relationship will last for you become difficult. Some women are mentally and physically ill in difficult relationships (this of course also applies to men). And then at the latest there is a clear reason to consider a separation.

And now the answer to the question: when has the time come? You already guessed it? If there is no prospect of improvement and you have come to know your own limits when it comes to patience and tolerance, then, yes, a relationship should be ended. If there are no sensible and emotional reasons to keep the relationship going, why - I ask you - should the relationship NOT be ended?

I am not speaking up for a quick decision. But I don't believe in eternal patience either. Because everyone also has the right to be happy.

I know how difficult it is to make a decision on this matter. But maybe I could give you a little suggestion and help.


Your friend says hello

Christian Sander

P.S. You can find out in my free ebook true Reasons Men Fall in Love with Women. You should definitely acquire this basic knowledge - you will need it sooner or later 😉 (click!)