Is your happiness always dependent on something?
It's late in the evening. You lie in your bed and try to fall asleep ... unfortunately in vain. Your thoughts in your head have turned on the carousel ... and with the constant driving in circles, you notice it again. This endless emptiness in you. Something is missing. Somebody is missing! You feel imperfect.
If you weren't alone then ...
If you were in a partnership, you wouldn't have to drive a carousel of thoughts in the middle of the night! You wouldn't feel lonely and alone. Then you could snuggle up to your partner right now and feel happy and complete!
Is that how it works? Could these sentences be from you too? If YES, then you should stay because this is the right place for you. I had very often reflected myself in these sentences, but these thoughts were also a topical topic during the day. Especially when I've seen couples whose happiness really struck me right in the middle of my heart! I wasn't the type of woman who liked to be alone. Not even when in reality I should have been happy to finally get rid of this unhealthy relationship.
Do you make your happiness dependent on a partner?
A lot of women live in the belief that the "right" one? Partner who makes their life worth living. Because then your life will shine so much with happiness that it blinds others and you will finally lead a happy, contented life. I tell you total nonsense! This is exactly how relationships arise that are not based on love and the desire to be together, but there is a relationship that consists only of needs ... because YOU somethingImportant thing is missing!
That can be a lot. Whether it is security, sex or affection and recognition, you definitely believe the right partner can give you and satisfy these needs. And suddenly you're in the middle of one emotionalAddiction. :-(
Well, this is not about me, but after all, I can have a very good say. When I think back, these emotions were so strong in me that I quickly got involved with a partner who could, at least partially, satisfy all of these needs. That DER actually didn't fit me at all, no thought was given away! The main thing is that my thirst was quenched. I knew the difference between "Wish" and"need" ... I just never wanted to admit it.
Emotional dependence in a partnership is not good for either of them
If you have many needs in you, the hunger is of course great to get everything. But in a relationship you deprive your partner of all strength because you constantly need and want something from him ... over and over again. Of course, a partnership is also there to ... I call it "feed" one another, to respond to the needs of the other. Only in this case it is not a relationship as it should be.
What is happening:
- you cling and are pushy. Jealousy occurs when your partner doesn't spend time with you. You restrict him and rob him of his freedom.
- you are looking for qualities in and about him that never existed. You want to change it in such a way that it would suit you well and that it also makes you happy!
You will probably succeed too. But only for a short time. Then when he goes back to his old habits, you'll be angry and dissatisfied. The bottom line is, you don't want to realize that this relationship isn't right for the two of you. It is impossible to be someone in the long run just to please. AND - neither he nor anyone else can give you everything you really need. This creates a relationship that robs both parts of a lot of energy and ultimately makes them unhappy.
Why is it so difficult to part with such toxic relationships?
The answer is clear. There is a lot of comfort and the fear of being alone behind it. Maybe even the belief that you will not find anything better? The shocking thing is you even tolerate other people's characteristics that you don't like, that are negative ... you live in a daydream and you talk about everything nicely.
Would you like an example?
- he's just so jealous because he loves me so much ...?
- it's not always that toxic, just now and then ... but he loves me ...!
- there are always differences of opinion and we are still a couple - WE just belong together ...!
Glossing over ... that's what they call it. You try to justify your decision “logically”, but basically you know that this person doesn't suit you at all. And so it happens that you stay in a relationship for far too long with a person who does not suit you and you do not manage to break away from him. This is how a emotionalAddictionthat pulls you so much juice and also makes you unattractive!
I have been in a number of precisely such relationships myself. They were more than unhealthy. I lived in my own dream world from which I found it difficult to break away. Until then - unfortunately very late - I learned first WITHOUT a partner happy toobecome!Not only to convince me, but also to really live from the bottom of my heart. Only then was I ready to have a happy, fulfilling relationship. :-)
I can really feel your question! Happy alone?
YES. You will be presented with something until you learn from it. It will annoy you until you think about it and want to change something. It's always easier to talk about than to do, but here are a few things I really want to recommend to you ... to make you happy afterward.#bread smile
Self-actualization is the magic word
I write about it a lot and I really enjoy it because it really is like a magic word. : D It doesn't matter whether you are attending evening school, studying, or want to go to university again ... do it and continue your education! You can achieve anything that you always wanted to do in your life.
If you are employed, have a job ... do you enjoy it too or do you have to do it to secure yourself financially? There is no age limit to again New to start and make money too. I was a whopping 50 years when I completely changed! :-) You may find fewer euros on your paycheck through a change, but you are much more joyful and ambitious, a priceless and healthy feeling, I can tell you!
Leave the well-worn motorway! Do you dare to drive in the opposite direction, to enjoy detours? Get out of your habit and away from the crowd. Collect motivations and inspiration. This is the only way you can find out what actually makes you happy. These 3 approaches will help you to find your way and to realize yourself.
What does this have to do with being happy alone? Very very much! You'll notice THAT if you try. :-) It is the basis to be able to lead a healthy relationship later ... From now on you get along with yourself!
Don't do things by halves anymore
Because this is about you and YOUR life! Either the man corresponds to your ideals or you let it be. Be honest with yourself when getting to know a man better. The questionfits or doesn't fit shouldn't be irrelevant. However, some things take time to determine if it could really work. But we humans, especially women, have this feeling in us “I like it or not at all” and this feeling very rarely deceives us. Better alone than in a wrong relationship! Therefore live a life that makes you happy even without a partner, try to give men a lower priority, because they should by no means be the center of your life, but the warm blanket around it, which warms you, protects you and accompanies you on your path through life with joy and lots of love! <3
If you have just arrived in this phase of your life, I wish you a lot "want" to approach it from another side, to learn from it and then to have luck on your side. I didn't do it any other way and afterwards I got the blanket that warms me as it is good for both of us. :-)
We are very happy to read your suggestions and opinions, until then - have a nice time with you alone.
Now it's your turn!
Do you have any suggestions, additions or further tips for me and other readers? I'm looking forward to your comment.
I would like to reach many women with FrauenPunk and I would be happy if you share this article and recommend it to others. I am grateful to you for any support!
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